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Bad habits, we all have them. They keep us from accomplishing our dreams, make us say and do things that really aren’t in our integrity.
Good habits allow us to transition through our day on autopilot. So much so, we forget that our good habits have a bigger strong hold.
Dr. Phil McGraw, TV-psychologist and Oprah offspring, says that we need to, “Behave our way to success.” I cringe when I hear this, don’t you? It sounds so easy. Yet, we both know it isn’t.
Positive psychology, the scientific study of happy, confident people, presents many proven techniques that assist in transitioning bad habits into good habits. Here are four proven techniques:
1. In order to eliminate a bad habit, it must be overridden with a good habit. Not eliminated but replaced. When the good habit becomes stronger, it naturally takes over and folds into our life. Usually becoming transparent because it melts into our life and we have already uncovered the next one to work on.
It doesn’t matter whether you want to replace the habit of lateness, cursing, or overeating. The habit’s intensity determines the effort and time required to replace. Don’t confuse effort with will power–they aren’t the same.
Effort is making a variety of alternatives until the old habit melts into a new one. The right amount of effort will always be different for you than anyone else. There isn’t an exact measurement because each of our unique qualities.
2. Discipline is an exercise of repetition. Not once or twice but until completed.
For instance, writing isn’t a natural talent. Yes, research shows that it helps to start the process young. Yet, there are female Pulitzer Prize winners who began writing in their fifties — after family obligations. They replaced their family responsibilities with the discipline needed to be a successful writer. They disciplined their way to success.
Most people think positive thinkers naturally flow with confidence. Yet, positive psychology statistics dispel this myth. What’s different is the amount of time and space they allow when negative habits or messages appear. They appear incandescent to them.
3. Rewards. As managing partner of a CPA firm for 15 years, I thought rewards meant bonuses and paid massages. After attending Coach University and intensifying my study in the Laws of Attraction, my perspective shifted. Positive people don’t need an outside push; they seemingly have a natural internal push that continually pulls them forward. Sometimes labeled as determination or drive.
When Donald Trump appeared on the Oprah show in April, Oprah asked him, “I heard very successful people don’t even see negative.” Donald chewed on this for a few long television minutes and then responded, “Yes, that is why I hire others who can see what I can’t…. Negative isn’t on my radar screen.”
4. Be assertive on what’s fueling you, as diligent about all things in your realm, as the quality of food you digest, and the purity of the water you drink.
To create a garden of positive habits, surround yourself with flowers not figurative speaking either. Complete a regular inventory. See each item for its truth, intention, and influence. Don’t wave it off as “not that big of a deal.”
Remove negative people, negative television shows, movies, books, even conversations. If Mama, spouse, sister, or brother fits this description, explain its impact on your life. Don’t blame, explain. Explain how it affects your success, your dreams. I’m sure they do what they do out of habit and not purposeful. If presented honestly and lovingly the people involved will see the gift.
An ideal choice is to use a positive clean-burning fuel. This begins with new words (language) to self and others. Each of us make choices every second. Get up, sit down, speak, listen, and so on. Make new choices, ones that fuel positive habits.
Take inventory on your environment and what you tolerate. What is broken, dented, stained? Fix, toss, give away, replace. Eliminate each ball and chain, one at a time, in baby steps. You will walk taller, talk and think clearer. You will attract more results that are positive into your life. Positive attracts positive–the Law of Attraction.
Fuel your surroundings with meaningful and beautiful things. That doesn’t mean expensive. It can simply be a fresh rose on your desk every week and the stopping by the florist or your own garden.
Many habits tend to hide under the bed until dusted. Expect as you replace one, another can appear. Yes, they eventually become fewer. Stay focused and remember, “A rose isn’t a rose without all its beautiful petals.”
Be aggressive. When they appear, and they will, knock them down, toss them out with the trash. And quickly. Don’t give them room to smell or grow. You’ll soon discover each day will be lighter, brighter, and even more successful than the one before. I promise!
These four techniques, continually proven by hundreds of my workshop graduates, will work for you too. They will multiply your dreams and successes over night. Begin small, begin big, just begin, and keep the momentum going…until.
© 2004, Catherine Franz. All rights reserved.