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When I moved into a management position in the male-dominated construction industry, some so-called friends asked me, “Doesn’t it feel weird being the only woman in management?”  Other asked such questions like, “Do you have to dress butch?” or “What happens if they don’t agree with you?” and “Are you tough enough to put up with the crap that comes with the position?”  

Yikes! And these people called themselves my friends!  It’s true, their comments could have taken me out of the game, or made me question myself and my capabilities.  But I knew a Secret. I knew how to take control of my own thoughts and feelings and remain unaffected by their small thinking.  And I know these techniques work. I was able to cut away the thoughts and feelings that were of no benefit to me or my growing success. I focused on what works. These techniques were instrumental in my reaching the position of owner of a $20 million construction company.  

And, I didn’t get there because of my education or experience or “connections.”  I arrived there because I know something that you don’t.  I know when to stop believing, thinking, doing and feeling what isn’t true!

Are Your Friends Lame?

You say you want to achieve great things, accomplish more, and be #1 in your field.  Let me ask you a question.  What is holding you back?  Take a look around.  What do you see in your friends and in the people who surround you?  Are they successful or struggling, divorced or married, happy or unhappy? 

Now take a good look at yourself.  I’m willing to bet there are some similarities.  Chances are, you are surrounded by people who are just like you. Am I right? 

Well, it’s true.  When you surround yourself with people who are living beneath their potential, are unhappy and unsuccessful, chances are… you will be, too.  Imagine what you could accomplish if you were surrounded by people you admire, friends who support your goals and are mentors to your success. 

What Kind of B.S. Are Your Friends Feeding You?

I’m not advising you to cut all ties with your lifelong friends or disown your family members.  I’m just telling you to recognize the B.S. when you see it, and guard yourself against negative associations.  The point is for you to seek out individuals who you can trust to advise you in the right way, and cut away the rest (with a smile, of course!). 

Stop drinking the Kool-Aid that others are handing out! The first step is to become the boss of YOU.  Even though everyone else thinks it is their job to be your boss, I’ve got news for you… it’s not!  Take control, stop giving it away!  You are the director of your life.  

This means taking control of your thoughts, beliefs and feelings about your money, relationships, career, etc.  Every self-sabotaging belief, every well-meaning (but crappy) piece of advice, every dream-squashing experience has to go. 

Live YOUR Truth and No One Else’s     

I teach my clients to harness the power of the unconscious mind.  That’s because the logical mind, when teamed up with your creative mind, can accelerate your innovation and success big time.  When you learn (and believe) that anything is possible that any goal is achievable.  You dramatically shift your beliefs from ordinary to extraordinary.  You no longer want to be “Top 10 good.”  You want that #1 spot.  You begin to recognize greatness in others and crave their company and influence.  You have a clean slate to re-write how you live your life. 

Try these simple steps;

1.      Seek out people you admire and who can support your goals and be mentors to your success. 

2.      Stop believing, thinking, doing and feeling what isn’t true. 

3.      Adopt this mantra: “Anything is possible and any goal achievable.”

Now is the time to start chipping away what’s weighing you down and dulling your progress, whether it’s a well-meaning friend or a negative self-belief.  With the weight lifted, will have the confidence, clarity and focus to accelerate your success. 

This Business article was written by Deborah Dubree on 11/12/2009

Deborah Dubree is a professional coach, speaker, mentor and founder of ClearEdge a resource for high achievers who want to reach incredible goals – then see how much further they can go. She worked her way up from receptionist to owner of a multi-million-dollar company and can show you how to do the same in your business.