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: Janet Male
I once worked with a woman whose zest,joy and enthusiasm lit up the room [and it was a big office!]
I remarked that it was lovely that she was always such uplifting company.
“Oh,I wasnt always like this”, she replied. “It all changed when my dad died, when I was about forty.”
“Was he that bad?” I asked her.
“On the contray,” she told me “he was wonderful.” However, just before he died he made a confession:
“Darling, I have ruined my life with worry. And not one thing Ive worried about has ever happened! Dont let the same thing happen to you!”
Something “clicked” within her. And she kicked her worry habit from then on!
If you need something to click to stop you worrying I hope the following helps:
Often when a worry pops in the normal reaction is to try and solve it. This is fine if there is something tangible that can be done right now. However, many worries are either entirely imaginary, or a small problem is blown out of all proportion.
So what happens is that you try to solve what doesnt exist. The more you try and solve it the worse the problem gets.
A wise old woman once said to me “Why are you worrying what youre going to say to so and so a week on Monday? Youll be there youll know!”
Lets take an imaginary, but common, example:
Miss Anxious starts worrying that she may lose her job. She tries to solve this imaginary problem by looking for a new job. But if she cant get another one, shell have to sell the house. And if it doesnt sell and she cant afford the mortgage payements….and so on, until shes pushing a shopping cart, containing all her belongings, around the streets…
In reality Miss Anxious is lying on a lovely beach enjoying a well earned break from a hectic career!
By the way, her boss finds her invaluable.
A very effective way to solve this sort of imaginary worrying is to let the thought be there, but not trying to solve it.
This may sound simple, but its very powerful. Its common to get worries popping into our minds. They are often nothing, just bits of nonsense. Not worth our attention. Trying to push them away or solve them can make them into monsters.
Just let them be, until they leave on their own. And they will. If another worry takes its place, treat it in the same way.
Miss Anxious has just read this and now shes enjoying her well earned holiday. Somewhere theres a slightly worrying thought at the edge of her mind. But shes giving most of her attention to the wonderful present moment.
Enjoy your present moment, be in the now, and everything will take care of itself.